Nivvy's Story Buffet

I try to find words for your ethereal beauty, but I stumble in your presence, Your intoxicating energy, My cheeks ablaze, Please jealousy, consume me,  Her light is too bright, Yet it shines with me, Your honey words of poetry, Those of which you sing, I am spellbound and falling under your incantation, The moon could be our gem, The sun could be our ring, The worlds but an orb in your earthly eyes.

Distraught, disfigured, shattered, How do I leave my demons? How do I find a cure? Within these walls, hope has brewed,  Translucent and pure, like a fleeting dream,  Let us depart, venture into the unknown. Before departure, This maiden, she spared a glance behind, Through her watery waterline, The deception, She realised nobody was waiting, And so she plunges forward, into the depths of madness, Let us follow, embrace her uncharted path, Even if we must fall, Lets join her Past foggy glasses, We learn the essence of joy,  To confront our fears or be crippled by our despairs,  The choice is ours to make, For destiny is completely malleable if you hit hard enough

  To touch the scars of your soul through your eyes and deepen them, To wield the my trojan tongue in hopes of dying for her, Her who sent those ships to sink, Her who held hope in her arms and harnessed its impact against us, Her who ran into the sand and bathed in their flames,  She loved it so much that she lived in its ashes You stopped being a monster because I loved you, I found what I loved and let it kill me, She is the closest thing to magic, To god, To human, Time told me it wasn't love, But if this wasn't it, what could it be? I was blinded by hopes of church bells and chariot rides, Those that hide your glow because it's mine I wished to died for treasure, No remorse, but just loss of something better, Rest Helen, Everything was more beautiful when we were doomed,

I often confuse anger with protection, Bloodied wounds filled with with the same salty seas that caress my cheek, I don't clench my fists in fury, I let them be held, They should feel my lust for bloodshed, But there will be no red-ribboned fate that binds us together, There will be no eternal thread that is sewn into us by the pinkie, There will be no person that will stay if I prolong with a heart full of restless rage and inevitable regret, I am well versed in cruelty, though I crave the sympathy I cannot give, I am born of the waves, fuelled by the seas, Salt in my eyes, Restless pleas

It's highly probable that the soil was made for you to grow, That god spewed the fountains and waterfalls to quench your thirst, The sun sings songs just to kiss your pale cheeks, The breeze strings your hair, Thinning it to pieces to steal because you’re to be preserved, The world was built by god himself, His heavenly body must’ve felt you deserving, It was at your life, the birth of all of us, I owe you my goddamn life

He held her neck to choke her words, She shook off the debris and dust that made him hers, With limbs entwined, And starlight kisses, His lips were my telescope to the far off galaxies of truth, Of the meteors I pray hit us, Of the sun that never set, I was with them all until i tumbled down to earth's core, Aware of my mortality, As he let us go, Oh, to fall in love and come out bruised and burnt

  My pain is what I paint, My pain is my muse that cries it's tears onto the canvas, Fear is what breeds in me, Its grows its vines, looping round my very heart, My fury is what I become, The rage that lights the flame, I spread throughout, But at least, At Least with all of this, I have something to keep for myself, I can live with this if it means i'll create, If it means my murals will meet with fate and my destiny will become my desired hopes, At Least I can live with myself without wishing to be someone else, My pain is my uniqueness, yours is your weakness.

  Bound by war, I stay stagnant, I stay prisoner to the dark edges of my mind, Withered poppies, painted a red that bleeds, My heart now ice, Void of joy, brimming with agony, My tempest of torment, I am woven shut, I have been killed, But groped of the joy of not feeling,

As she drowned in the unforgiving sunlight, She ran to the moon, Her orbs turned jet, Yet she spoke through the bleak, Blinded by the purity, By confinement, She spoke in colour once more, But who sees joy for another as joy for themselves? Burn her at the stake once more, Paint her grey

How do you live without dying a little? How do you burn to walk the world without ignorance of its life? How do you act limitless without facing adversity? To walk through life without struggle it pitiful, It is to marry fear, To slash one's throat and quench the thirst of Phobos with your blood, It is to weave your neck with his tongue, It's entwining it with the serpentine coils of apprehension, It is to live colourless, Living is impossible to those who prefer simply existing

And I stayed up till the stars dissipated, Till they go into deep slumber, I waited, wide awake sitting by the edge of the bricked wall, Looking into the desolate land before me, I accompanied the moon through its daily rounds, As it stared upon each individual to assure the sun did not cause much trouble, Nobody seemed to greet the moon like it greeted the sun, They were dormant by that hour, So I thought,  Who? Who will keep this perceivable angel company as it feasts its eye on god's most wretched creature, Too self-conscious to allow her full self to be shown to the public eye, But who would stay awake to see this enchantress, She's too absorbed with the uninterested us humans have for one another, to the point she cannot bring herself to retire She's beautiful isn't she? Who will keep my Luna company? Who will be there when she comes back for us, Who will praise her for her competence? For appearing despite the eclipse, the rain, the darkness, For arriving despite ...

T he change is prominent. In her stance she is tall like the steppes of hurt, In her voice dripping with revolution as if the world will bow down at her command, In her touch she grips with pride and no remorse, stating what is hers and what is mine In her eyes she is the same, And that is the only part of her I will be able to retrieve for she will not return  The girl who convinced me there were stars in the day, The girl who shaped her life by the clouds, The girl whose moods changes by the colours of sunset She has left without me, She has woken from her everlasting eternal dream, She has left me by her bedside

The greatest lovers we seek are the most admirable, Beneath veils of illusion,  Eyes weave tales, shifting sands. Love's fervent grasp engulfs the heart and all its fury, But love it sparks as joy instead of truth, The effects are haunting Love dissipates as time embraces us, Squeezing, so tight, Until the warmth burns the flesh, The skin, The heart, Oh whats there is lost, Not because they love each other any less, Perhaps they didn't love each other at all.

The entire universe vanished within the pupils of her eyes, Each second she blinks, Every night I fear death, Until I became immune, Because I have been killed so many times and forced into the next morning, Noose in hand, In solitude I caress the memories we once had, The night we stared into your eyes, Knowing we’d never conjoin like this ever again,  Wondering how I could learn to breathe without your lungs. But that night, we burnt like stars exploding brightly into those beguiling orbs, disappearing into a void, Your confession was the final radiance of a setting sun, I surged my anger and forget the scent of your skin, The dark contours of your neck won't haunt me anymore.  Every blue moon, when Luna sings a song, my skin bleeds beige, And I act pretty, But as long as we are miles apart, I believe survival is possible

I have never been infatuated with this man you call god, Yet by the lisp of your prayer, The cold sweat dripping from your clasped palms, The jitter of your jaws as he kisses each sin, I can only hope you’ve pushed purity through me, So I can be with you in neverland, Forever

Her beauty was taken because of the power she behold over the weak, Her mind turned away from itself because if she had known her worth, she would be slain, Her life was taken because of the ugliness, the jealous forced upon her, Because of the blame she had to take from the sea Who will save her scales? Who can bring her story to light?  Only those who have been viciously beaten and choose to get up, In fact let me be the leader, Show me to the fire and let me walk through it, Pain may not be something you want to experience, But sometimes allegiance is worse, Purity is yours, Nothing has been taken, Steal back the dignity, Take back what's yours and do not change for tsunamis, Stride through the war zone, Follow me as we set the fire, Let them taste our wrath,  Let them witness the beauty we still possess, 

  I stay fearful of the stars for they know all my pain, My agony thrown at one being, I yell at the night sky, like it is the reason for my demise, I scream at the moon, for smiling through this darkness, I cry to the stars like they’ll solve my problems The night sky is the only thing that lets me remain in this darkness without trying to fish me out, It lets me to live through everything and still see light, The moon shines through the dead of night,  It smiles despite being broken herself, The stars listen when I myself cant seem to care about my misery, I smile at the stars for they know all my pains, I smile at the stars for they know my enigma, I smile at the stars for they remind me who I am

I tried to stop caring, And perhaps it doesn't hold dictatorship over my life anymore but the blemishes on my heart hurt, Alot, I despise how my mind looks at you and crafts vast tales, How my eyes shape this portrait of you, With my dream plastered across, My name written in exact alignment to the blotchy liquid fuelling my heart, I hate this growing feeling of rage, of envy, Its like my entire world was bestowed with a layer of nostalgia, I have no loathe towards you, You do, But am I that undesirable? Why are sides so easy to decide between us, I'm so malleable, I'm so bloody docile, Watch my head meet your feet, Its evident i’ll never live like you, So i'll drink the poison until I think i’ve reached by breaching point, And then failure will be something I savour, Because at least I tried, At Least it's not just me